Why is the InterWeb slowing down?

As the use of Linux has increased exponentially in the last three years, the use of the Linux file-system is causing some problems to InterWeb service providers. Linux could, in fact, be responsible for the 'slowing down' of the InterWeb that many users are experiencing. How is this possible? It's the 'sticky bit' that is to blame.

In Linux and other Unix-like operating systems, the 'sticky bit' is used as an ownership access right flag that can be assigned to files and directories. Although the kernel ignores the sticky bit on files, when Linux computers are connected to the InterWeb, these sticky bits start to flow through the pipes that connect the InterWeb together. Or do they?

Because of their 'sticky' nature, many of these bits get stuck to the interior of the pipes. Because most of the pipes can handle a lot of InterWeb traffic, this has not been a problem, up until now. Sticky bits are starting to clog the pipes, and the build up of 'stuck' bits and bytes is now starting to slow down InterWeb traffic. Sites take longer to load, and small packets of data (like short emails), may get stuck and delayed or even lost forever.

One researcher thinks he may have an answer, and has developed a 'statin like bit cleanser' which he thinks can unblock the system. Dr. William Brush is preparing to release his bit cleanser into the InterWeb pipe network later today.

Traffic should start to speed up – but beware: the unleashed torrent of sticky bits and bytes may pour out, uncontrollably into your computer. Should you notice this flood, the best thing to do is to immediately turn off your InterWeb access before irreversible damage is caused to your furniture and carpets.